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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Leadership Skills

from Exforsys.com


'There are leaders and there are followers', as the saying goes, and developing good leadership skills can create the distinction between the two. Many people believe a strong leader is born and not made. This is not necessarily the case. As with anything, educating yourself to
encourage become a great leader or a person with superb leadership skills takes time, energy and commitment. A leader is a person who has strong principles, courage and dedication to a clear vision.


In business, possessing high-quality leadership skills are a must for any interested individual to succeed on an executive level. Developing a powerful vision, building a strong team and bringing out the best in those you lead are key facets to experiencing success as a
leader in your field or industry.


People follow a great leader because he is representative of the beliefs of a group. This person is often a well-principled individual who is focused on a common goal and eliminates excess fear and doubt. The followers of the leader often provide the necessary support for the
team to advance and succeed in achieving their goals. An individual with good leadership skills will recognize and reward the team for the greater cause.

Tips


To become a great leader, your followers must be able to respect you. There are a number of tips you will want to follow to gain and keep the respect of those you lead. There are a lot of mistakes made by people who wish to be leaders, and they are often made because they
don't understand what people want.

One common problem made by leaders is expecting people to follow them because they have a certain title. It is not enough for you to have the title of CEO or captain. A title is nothing if people don't respect the person who holds it.

How you rate as a leader is dependent on what the people in your group think of you. To have authority which extends beyond your title, you will need to earn the respect of those who are under you. The best way to do this is to practice honesty and communicate effectively with
everyone. When you have bad news, you should share it as quickly as the good news. If you make a mistake, admit it. People don't like to be lead by someone who is not willing to acknowledge their mistakes. If you are not able to acknowledge your mistakes, this means you will make them again, and this will send across a message that you are incompetent. Always fulfill any promises you make.

It is also important to make sure there is active communication between you and those you lead. When you are not communicating with those you lead, you are on the road to disaster. How can you know where to improve as a leader if you don't have anyone to provide you with feedback? When employees don't feel like they are part of a company, they will begin
to drift away, and their perf ormance levels will drop. Once this begins to happen, the revenue of the company will begin to drop as well. Communication is an important part of being a successful leader. No matter how smart, brave, or strong you may be, you are not omnipotent,
and cannot know everything. Your employees may have suggestions that can help you succeed, and you should always want to seek out their advice.

Are you spending more time managing those beneath you instead of letting them manage themselves? Spending too much time managing those beneath you is not fair to you or those you lead. First, you will be putting too much stress on yourself. It is impossible for you to do it all. You shouldn't have to directly manage your employees. They should be able to manage themselves. Your goal should be to lead them to success, and you will need to use their energy in order to achieve this.

To be a good leader, you will need to find a balance between dangerous risks and being overly cautious. A lot of people fall under one extreme, and this is not a good form of leadership. Taking unnecessary risks can put you and those you lead at risk. For example, if you are a military general, how do you think your troops would feel if you led them into a place you were not familiar with? It would not be long before you were replaced by someone who is more competent. At the same time, a leader that is too cautious will not inspire their followers to succeed.

If you want the respect of those you lead, you will need to give the impression of a leader who is not only the head of an organization, but is someone who actively participates in the tasks that members are required to carry out. Work together with the group. Don't sit back and let them do all the hard work. This will convey a message that you are better than they are, and this will cause them to become resentful. Once this happens, their performance will begin to decline, and your organization can fail to succeed. Even though great leaders can be difficult to find, you will want to take the time to increase your skills. Learn what works and what doesn't. Being a successful leader requires you to understand people. Once you understand what they want, you will only need to give it to them.


Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Law of Behavioral Replication . . . and how top managers to use it

Posted by Carmine Coyote

This post is part of the “How to manage the boss” series

    1. How to manage your boss
    2. Influence and power: more on how to manage your boss
    3. How to survive in a macho organization
    4. The Law of Behavioral Replication . . . and how top managers to use it

The key to understanding why so many good ideas are strangled at birth — and so many able people passed over

    What do top people fear most? Failure. They’re nearly all over-achievers. They’ve been successful at most everything they’ve done. Failure is more scary to them than death. Many have never experienced it in any form, and they have no intention of doing so in the future. They have too much at stake. Not their wealth (that’s usually tied up in legal ways that ensure they keep that). What failure threatens is far more important than wealth: it’s their self-esteem and belief in their own brilliance; their standing in the eyes of other executives; their super-sized egos and membership of the club of the ultra-influential.

What is most likely to result in failure? Risk.

    Executives try to avoid risk wherever they can — not that you’d think so from what has happened in the sub-prime mortgage scandal. If you’re afraid of failing, you have to be afraid of risk. No risk, no failure. That’s why organizations — and those who run them — dislike risk in any form. Even the most innovative organizations try to reduce risk. Ever noticed how everyone jumps on the bandwagon of a successful product? Copying a proven best-seller is a lot less risky than trying to come up with the next blockbuster yourself and risking public failure.

“So what happened with those banks and their risky loans?”

    They didn’t believe the loans were risky — plus everyone else was getting on the bandwagon and (apparently) earning vast profits as a result. The biggest risk, way back before the shit hit the fan, appeared to be allowing yourself to be left out of the feeding frenzy. Not being fashionable is risking looking an idiot, when all those who followed the latest trend publish stellar quarterly figures.

    For a time, making money was easy. Any fool could do it — and many, many did. They gained an inflated idea of their own ability as a result. It wasn’t risky, because it worked and everyone else was doing it too. The good times were going to go on for ever — just as they were before the dot com boom went bust.

    The Law of Behavioral Replication is simple: it states that doing what everyone else is doing is the least risky option. There’s safety in numbers. Take your own path — exercise leadership — and there’ll be no place to hide if it goes wrong; the results are obviously down to you. But, if you follow the Law of Behavioral Replication, you can claim personal responsibility for any success; and, if it all goes wrong, you simply say that you were only doing what everyone else agreed was the right thing. “Mistakes were made” (but not by you, personally).

    That’s why there’s such constant interest in “benchmarking” and “industry best practice.” Corporations pay high fees to consulting firms to tell them what behavior to replicate: what seems, at present, to be the least risky and most profitable course to follow, based on the notion that copying whatever is making money for others is a more or less risk-free way to get in on the same act.

    Forget about leadership: it takes courage, thought, and independence. It’s way too risky. Jump on a bandwagon and hang on for dear life. Never mind if you no idea how the technical wizards and self-styled Masters of the Universe do what they claim to do. No one else knows either, so you’re in excellent company. Never mind the quality, feel the profits.

“How does knowing this help me, the poor middle manager?”

    The same thinking applies when top people select managers for promotion, especially those who might later become members of the executive group. Promotions bring risk. What if those promoted don’t fit in or upset the balance of power? Perhaps try to change what existing members want left alone?

    By the Law of Behavioral Replication, the obvious course is to promote whoever looks most like existing top managers. Why change a winning formula? Besides, this appeals to all those big egos, who can’t imagine anyone being better than they are (or think they are).

    The more difference between the candidate and current executives, the greater the risk. Women and minorities pose more risk than white males. “People like us” offer least risk. And, as I said before, risk is scary.

    If you want to make yourself look as promotable as possible, the trick is to lessen any risk attached to your name. The more you fit in, doing what others do (only better) and never challenging those in power, the less you will appear to be any kind of risk to them.

    Many middle managers make the mistake of trying to stand out by being different. The more this works, the less likely they are to make it past executives’ built-in antipathy to risk. They may be highly able, even brilliant, but the perception of difference is a sticking point. The bosses want to use their ability, but only in situations where they can avoid putting the person into a position of power. So they invent some grand-sounding job, and use it to keep the person safely corralled; or they pay bonuses and award salary increases, while keeping the “deviant” still in middle-management ranks.

“So this law stifles all change?”

    More or less. The Law of Behavioral Replication works to increase the chances new ideas — and new people — will always appear less “attractive” than existing ones. It favors copying others and following fashionable trends — which is exactly what we see increasing in today’s world.

    Because of this law, many — I’m tempted to say “most” — great ideas never make it beyond an initial presentation. They’re too novel — and way too risky. They require going out on a limb, instead of replicating what other “successful” organizations have already done. The more radical the idea (or the person) the greater the risk involved in backing it (or him or her), so the most creative ideas are also the most vulnerable to being squashed.

    Look around you. How many businesses have truly novel products or services? How many operate in ways that make them stand out from the crowd? Now consider how many are virtually indistinguishable from their competitors.

    That’s the Law of Behavioral Replication at work.

View the original article here.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Sexy


FIRST PERSON By Alex Magno
Thursday, February 14, 2008
from philstar.com

There are those who would want to inflate a scandal into a cataclysm. That is as much driven by narrow self-interest as the scandal itself.

This whole mess about the aborted NBN deal can either take a destructive or constructive turn. That, I suppose, is the decision every citizen must make at this moment of tension and confusion.

We can deal with this scandal in the usual destructive way. Raise a howl, fuel public cynicism, throw a tantrum and cause some heads to roll. And then move on from the ruins without building our institutions and without repairing our civic culture.

There will never be a shortage in the supply of motives for taking this whole thing down the destructive path. There are ideological groups totally addicted to the imagination of a permanent crisis gripping our society. They may be relied upon to do their usual thing: fire up hate, step up the shrillness in the streets and angle for position when things start breaking down.

And then there are the ambitions of petty politicians, cramped by the present power arrangement. They need turmoil to loosen things up, push their rivals to their heels and open opportunities for their own advancement. On their flanks are those with a simplistic notion of how our society might progress: raze institutions and take control our nation’s destiny through the barrel of a gun.

There is never a lack of constituency for political carnivals: those who nurse a permanent disdain for every form of rule and every style of leadership; those who are overcome by a consuming dislike for certain personalities on the edifice; those who nurse the destructive belief that the only way to prevent government from robbing us is to prevent government from being workable in every way.

And then there is a way for all the energies aroused by a scandal to be harnessed for remedial gains: for improving on our procedures, for reinforcing our institutions, for renovating governance and for invigorating our civic culture.

In the case of the NBN controversy, there is much to talk about that will yield lasting value for our community. But these matters are simply not being talked about, either because they are not understood by those who simply want to grandstand or because the media might not find these issues sexy enough to cover.

Is the public procurement system really, as Jun Lozada described it, completely “dysfunctional”? Is it supplier-driven rather than firmly controlled by priorities clearly defined by policy?

If that is so, what legislative or policy remedies might be available? What innovation in procedures could be done, so that greed is not only moderated but discouraged?

Is the system by which decisions are taken regarding ODA-funded projects adequate? Or is it a system vulnerable to power-brokering, as Jun Lozada’s version of events suggests?

When the system for project approval and execution is vulnerable, power-brokering happens and corruption creeps in. Some are simply smarter than others. The fundamental reason for improving governance and making public transactions both contestable and transparent is precisely that some are infinitely smarter than others and that fact should be mitigated by proper procedures.

If that is so, what legislative or policy remedies could be devised to correct the present system for channeling ODA to productive enterprises?

In my naive, academic mind, I imagine these should be the top concerns of the senators holding marathon hearings on the NBN controversy. If these are the top concerns in their minds, that doesn’t show in the political carnival going on.

Instead, it seems, the senators want to implicate as many people as possible, find every possibility to keep the controversy (and the media coverage) going and produce as much intrigue as humanly imaginable to provide juice for the melodrama. The unassailable excuse for doing so is to uncover the “truth”.

That discourse does not quite jive with my training as a social scientist: which is to extract the truth from the facts. The “truth” in the case of inquiries in aid of legislation ought to be the legislative remedies to an apparent dysfunction. The “truth” that the politicians sitting in that inquiry seem to search for is one sufficiently explosive as to cause a political malfunction.

To put it baldly: the institutional “truth” that an inquiry in aid of legislation ought to be concerned about is simply not sexy enough. Nobody wants to watch a policy debate in this parts.

If there is no audience for that sort of discourse, then it will not be covered by commercial media. If it is not covered by media, there will be no grandstanding gains.

What grabs audience share is high drama. The saga of persecuted men fighting the high and mighty. The suspense of “kidnappings” and the sight of grown men crying under the terrible pressures made to bear upon them.

This is the narrative the media wants. It is the same narrative that the agitators need. It is the narrative that fires up political passion and drives people to the streets.

Therefore it is the narrative that the politicians provide especially those with much to gain from tumultuous times. Because this is the narrative that grabs audience share and improves television ratings.

Although this might not be the narrative we need to build a more functional future for our country. What we need is the narrative of reform: relentless, precise, irreversible and effective.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Juicy Writing: 5 Ways to Glue Readers to the Page

by Mary Jaksch of the blog Goodlife Zen.

Photo courtesy of papalars

I love reading. But not just anything. Some writers arrest me on the spot and shackle me to their page. But others fail to keep my attention: I soon start playing with the cat or surf off to other sites.

Our readers are exactly like that. Their attention is fickle and they will wander off if we don’t grab them with our words.

That’s why it’s important to seize them from the moment they hit the page and get them to read our stuff in one gulp. In the following five steps I’ll show you how to glue readers to your page, whether you’re writing a blog post, an article, or a book.

1. Sweep in; don’t creep in. Make an entry with your first paragraph and jump right to the core of your message. Return to your start as the final editing task. Hone those words.

2. Floor the accelerator. Pick up the pace and increase the flow of your text. If you are writing a short piece you can push the pace right to the end. In a chapter or a longer article, you need to let up the pace at times for readers to catch their breath. Here is how to step on the gas:

  • Use short sentences;
  • Use frequent paragraphing;
  • Get rid of filler words;
  • Use only one idea per paragraph.

See Jakob Nielsen’s bench-mark article How Users Read on the Web.

3. Use zesty language. Choose words that trigger emotions and tell a story for high impact writing.

Sol Stein’s book Stein on Writing contains great suggestions for juicing up language. I read his book a day before my Masters dissertation was due and was so fired up that I stayed up all night to re-write it. Here is a clip of an ancient Zen story before and after that long night of the wild pen:

Before: Another monk wanted to learn the older man’s answer, and after trying to find out to no avail for three years, finally threatened him with a knife to make him tell.

After: A young disciple wanted to learn the monk’s answer, and—frustrated after badgering him for three years—finally bailed up the old man with a knife to make him tell all.

You can find some excellent advice on high impact writing in an article by journalist Jack Hart.

4. Liposuction flab. Superfluous words and phrases slow the pace and weaken the reader’s attention. The following actions ensure a sleek text:

  • Scratch all adjectives and adverbs. Then reinstate only those few that are essential; (that’s a suggestion from Sol on Writing)
  • Cull all phrases that double up on what you said before;
  • Eliminate fillers such as: to sum up; I believe; note that; it has become clear; I would like to point out, and so on. Jesse Hines says on his blog Vigorous Writing: ‘When you catch yourself describing what you’re about to say, cut the filler and just say it.’

5. Inject color. People are stirred by images and emotions, not by thoughts. ‘Show, not tell!’ is the catchcry of fiction writers. But non-fiction writers must also take this to heart. If we transform ideas into images, readers sit up and take notice.

Here is an interesting use of colorful writing: blogwriter Skellie suggests that we ‘write dirty’ and ‘leave a big, colorful, human smudge on our words’.

‘Human smudge’ – that’s wonderful!

You can read more about using images on Angela Booth’s Writing Blog.

These five simple steps show that everyone can learn to write with more juice and zest. Using juicy language will not only excite your readers, it will also fire up your own passion for writing.

The best time to explore juicy writing is … write now!

***

Mary Jaksch writes the blog Goodlife Zen. Her book Learn to Love has been translated into six languages.

Please help Arayat UMC!

I am calling all UMYF and UMYAF'ers and all local church officers to please help Arayat UMC. Hindi man natin kakayaning muling ipatayo ang gusaling nasunog noong Friday, makakatulong naman tayo sa pangangailangan nina Pastor Moises Sitchon at ng kanyang buong pamilya.

Tanging suot na damit lamang po nila ang kanilang nai-salba habang nasusunog ang kanilang kapilya at casa pastoral.

Noong Friday, habang nagcha-charge conference sa pangunguna ni DS Calalang, nasunog ang bahay ng isang miembro sa tabi ng kapilya. Ang may ari ng bahay ay nasa charge conf din at opisyales din ng church.

I am requesting all Pampanga youth and young adults to collect funds for Pastor Moi bilang tulong natin.

I am asking youth and young adults outside pampanga to request your church to conduct special offering.

All donations can be course through the DS office by texting 09152062238 or thru me or Ahian Regala- umyaf president of pampac at 09267001972.

Pastor Moi used to be the District UMYF President before he entered the ministry.

Thank you.

William Tolentino 09178365772

Saturday, February 9, 2008

St Paul UMC, Manila: Our Story

St Paul United Methodist Church is the first protestant church in Tondo. In stark contrast to other landmark Methodist churches in the Philippines, Central and Knox Memorial, it was established solely by Filipinos.

The first church structure, a chapel of bamboo and lightweight materials, was dedicated by Presiding Elder Jesse McLaughlin on 5 Nov 1900. It was called Bancusay Methodist Episcopal Church (MEC), and was built through the singular efforts of Honorio Feliciano, a local fisherman. The original building was also referred to as St Peter MEC, in honour of the people’s vocation and avocation – Bancusay being a fishing village.[1]

The period 1901 to 1907 was full of achievement and tremendous growth for the fledgling Philippine Methodist movement. The Tondo Circuit became the centre of missionary activity, with many local preachers (predicador local) and exhorters (exhortador) training at and being sent from this circuit. This missionary zeal helped to spread Methodism throughout Luzon. Listed are some of the recognised local preachers and exhorters of the period who were trained and cultivated from the Tondo Circuit:

Pedro Castro Francisco San Jose Sinforoso Ponce

Serviliano Castro Moises F. Buson Vicente Cunanan

Cirilo Kasiguran (Sr) Victoriano Mauricio Eugenio Monico

In early 1901 another group began gathering at the house of Pedro Castro on Calle Aguila, a few blocks from Plaza Moriones. Exhorter Moises F. Buson was developed at this satellite of Bancusay MEC. In Gagalangin, the converts led by Bonifacio Vargas took over the local Roman Catholic Church,[2] believed to be present-day St. Joseph.

Members from Bancusay MEC began a Bible Study and Prayer Meeting Point in Bagumbayan, Navotas, in 1902 – paving the way for present-day St Peter UMC.[3] It is possible that when this particular satellite of Bancusay MEC became a formal worshipping community they simply retained the alias of its “mother church” – St Peter – especially as (Bancusay MEC) acquired a new name in 1908 after its move to Plaza Moriones.

The Capisanan ng Catotohanan was organized in Bancusay MEC in 1904, espousing the pioneering missionary spirit. Exhorter Moises F. Buson was one of its organizers.[4] The number of Methodist converts kept growing, and the various meeting points within the circuit could no longer accommodate them all.

In 1907, USD 5,000.00 was donated anonymously for the construction of a bigger church building in Tondo. Within 6 weeks, a lot was purchased in Plaza Moriones and construction was begun. It is surmised that the site was chosen primarily because of its central location, being in between Bancusay MEC, Teatro Rizal, and other recognized meeting points in the area.

The Rev. Nicolas Zamora was officially appointed to Bancusay at this time, in response to the Capisanan ng Catotohanan’s outstanding request for a Filipino preacher.[5]

The Plaza Moriones site was dedicated on 8 March 1908. It is said that Knox Memorial MEC was dedicated in the morning while St Paul MEC’s was in the afternoon of the same day. The original name of the main congregation (Bancusay/St Peter MEC) was dropped and arbitrarily replaced with St Paul;[6] it is construed that the new name was in deference to the anonymous donor (many missionaries and benefactors of the age came from Minnesota, USA).

Bancusay MEC, its nearby adjuncts, and other groups in the area converged and consolidated, making St Paul the new focal point of the Tondo Circuit.

On 28 Feb 1909, the Rev. Nicolas Zamora declared his secession from the MEC in a farewell homily at St Paul. He was joined by Moises F Buson and the Capisanan ng Catotohanan. Thus began Iglesia Evangelica Metodista En Las Islas Filipinas, or IEMELIF.[7]


On 26 October 1917 the Finance Committee of the Methodist Episcopal Church in the Philippines took action to sell the Calle Moriones building for PhP 8,000. According to Finance Committee records:

“The property is closely hemmed by business concerns – behind it a cinematograph where music is usually played during preaching and prayer service time making it unfit for religious services.”[8]

The preferred alternative location was in front of Mary Johnston Hospital (MJH), making it more accessible to patients, hospital personnel, and resident students of the Mary Johnston College of Nursing (MJCN).

A kindergarten was begun in 1926 by Miss (_) Caracta and Mrs Generosa Ramas (née Tangaro) as part of St Paul’s mission. This educational offering was the first of its kind in Tondo, and it continues to serve the community to this day.

The church completes its move to the present location on Sta. Maria St. in 1930, through the help of Dr Pedro Arcilla, Dr Rebecca Parrish and the Rev Cottingham.[9] The original building’s designer(s) and specifications have since been lost to time.

A new church is seeded in Sampalucan (Maypajo) through the efforts of St Paul MEC members and resident minister Rev. Francisco Galvez (1938). Initially a Bible Study group, it became a worshipping community before long. A lot was leased by a Mr Plata in Sangandaan and construction of a church building ensued, also through the material and physical efforts of St Paul members. Further support to this fledgling congregation was provided by Jose Buendia y Blas and family. The original site is now the location of Jollibee-Sangandaan Caloocan.[10] This yet unnamed congregation later on moves to its present location on A. Mabini St. upon donation of land by the descendants of the Rev. Simeon Blas. Initially named Doña Maxima Blas Memorial (after the Rev. Blas’ wife), it was renamed Crossroads UMC in 1970, during the term of Rev. Jose Pepito M. Cunanan.

World War II descended upon the Philippines in 1941,[11] and its departure in 1945[12] left Manila in shreds. Many structures were completely destroyed or damaged, St Paul MEC one of them. Through the efforts of Benjamin Felix, Sr. the church was restored to its former glory, adhering to the original design.

Circa 1954 St Paul helps pioneer yet another church, this time in Naga. Home-grown “son” the Rev. Eduardo Cajiuat and his wife Amelita were sent to minister to this new church. This church was further supported by St Paul United Methodist Youth Fellowship’s (UMYF) financial efforts. St Paul also helps seed pre-school education in Naga by starting the first kindergarten there. Miss Elizabeth “Eling” Eugenio, a public school teacher who volunteered to serve, was sent there.

In 1968, the Methodist Church merged with Evangelical United Brethren and became the United Methodist Church (UMC).[13] All churches in the connection acquired a name change: from MEC to UMC.

Towards the end of his term (1975), the Rev. Cirilo Kasiguran, Jr. and the “Second Milers” began Bible Studies at the home of (_) Policarpio in Barrio Magsaysay, Tondo.[14] Second Milers include:

Simeon Pineda Guadalupe Pineda Antonio Pineda

Belen Rodriguez Guillermo Villaruel Rodolfo Cunanan

Jose Tejada Laodicea Pascual-Tejada (_) Policarpio

Barrio Magsaysay became a formal worshipping community during the ministry of the Rev. Deogracias Angeles in 1980. When the Policarpios relocated to Valenzuela the house and lot where the community began was donated to St. Paul. Barrio Magsaysay UMC stands there presently.[15] It became a regular charge conference in 1985.

Also in 1985, St. Paul began a new church in San Jose, Cavite. The location was chosen through the coordination of the Rev. Cecilio S. Basan, Jr., and the guidance of then District Superintendent (DS) the Rev. Marcelino Casuco; the distance between Church By The Highway (CBTH) and Pala-pala UMCs was too great and a church located midway was deemed ideal. Land for the new church was bought and donated by sisters Erlinda and Flordeliza R. Punongbayan, but the structure itself was built through the Korean mission. Rev. Joel T. Reyes was the first to serve at San Jose UMC, while he was still a student at Union Theological Seminary (UTS) in nearby Pala-pala.

The 1990s heralded the beginning of the annual Medical Mission in conjunction with church anniversary celebrations. Although professionals from St Paul actively participated in previous missions organized by the district, the church itself had no medical mission of its own. By-the-by, this Outreach ministries project became institutionalized, and thus began the annual tradition. This service is open to all and is not limited to church members. Anyone who registers may avail of the various treatments on offer.

A Bible Study was organized in 1991 in Farola compound, Tondo, under the guidance of then incumbent minister Rev. Bener Agtarap. Originally the property of (church member) Paulino Pelayo, the house and land was later sold to St Paul for the establishment of a new church. It later became Farola UMC, now also a regular church under PAC.[16]

St Paul Kindergarten began offering primary education in 1997 and becomes St. Paul Grade School – Tondo. Incorporation was acquired in 1998, and government recognition as a primary school in October 2003.[17]

So it has been, for the last 107 years. The passion for mission and revolutionary spirit that marked its first one hundred years will continue to move us forward in the centuries to come.


By Lynn Basan


[1] The Gospel In All Lands by Methodist Episcopal Church, Missionary Society Serial Publication, p427; Twentieth Century Perspectives by J. Tremayne Copplestone, p195.

[2] The Cross of Christ in Bolo-land by John Marvin Dean. (New York: F. H. Revell Company, 1902), pp205-209.

[3] Highlights in the History of St Paul United Methodist Church by Cecilio S. Basan, Jr.

[4] From Darkness to Light by Bishop Dionisio D Alejandro, DD, p44.

[5] Minutes, 1907 Annual Conference Journal, Philippine Islands Mission District

[6] Twentieth Century Perspectives, p212; Monuments to Religious Nationalism p.

[7] http://www.iemelif.com.ph/history.html; The Story of Methodism in the Philippines: Nationalism and the Rise of IEMELIF by Richard L Deats, http://www.users.drew.edu/loconer/books/deats/deats11.htm

[8] Letter of Ernest Lyons, secretary of the Finance Committee of the MEC, dated 26 Oct. 1917. Lyons, Ernest L. (Rev. & Mrs.), 1912-1922. Missionary Files, Misfiles. United Methodist Church Archives – GCAH, Madison, New Jersey.

[9] Maikling Kasaysayan ng Iglesia San Pablo by Samuel M. Santos.

[10] Highlights in the History of St Paul United Methodist Church.

[14] Via a short interview with Cirilo Kasiguran, Jr.

[15] Highlights in the History of St Paul United Methodist Church.

[16] Highlights in the History of St. Paul United Methodist Church

[17] St Paul Grade School – Tondo Students’ Handbook.

How to say NO and have people respect you for it

Just say noSaying yes is easy, saying no is a skill. And an important skill too, because saying yes too often can get you into trouble and saying nothing is troublesome altogether. So saying no is an important skill to use on a regular basis. Saying no to yourself and saying no to others.

The skill of saying no

Saying no is often associated with negative feelings, like disappointment, anger and loss. That’s why it’s a lot easier to say yes all the time, because people like to avoid situations that evoke those emotions. But at the same time, we don’t feel proud or satisfied with saying yes. It’s a Catch-22, we don’t want to say no and we don’t want to say yes.

So often we reside to other options, but they prove to be even more troublesome than just saying no:

  • Saying yes, doing yes
    This is authentic. If you say yes, do yes. People will know that you keep your word.
  • Saying yes, doing no
    This is deception. You try to keep the relationship good at first, but don’t keep your word and end up damaging it in the end.
  • Saying nothing, doing yes
    This is vague, but mostly if you do not answer people assume that you will say yes.
  • Saying nothing, doing no
    This is vague and deceptive. People assume that you say yes, but you do the opposite. Plenty of room for an argument.
  • Saying no, doing yes
    This is confusing to say the least. People will not know what your word is worth, saying no clearly does not mean no.
  • Saying no, doing no
    This is authentic. If you say no, do no. You might disappoint someone, but you are clear and people will know that you keep your word.

Saying yes and saying no are the only two viable options in the long run. Saying yes is something that most people are very capable of, saying no on the other hand…

To master the skill of saying no, you need to build upon your courage and consideration. Courage is the skill you need for you. It is needed to be able to choose for yourself and say no when you feel or know you have to say no. You might disappoint someone, but you have the courage to bite the bullet and just say it.

Consideration is the skill you need for the other. Taking the needs and wants of the other into consideration is an important skill to assess the impact of saying no. It might not change your decision, but it will prepare you and allow you to get the message across in a respectful way.

Argument

Saying no to others

The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes. - Tony Blair

Saying no to others is not fun, but an essential skill if you want to keep your sanity. Tony Blair takes it even a step further and states that the art of leadership revolves around that skill. Leaders tend to be people we respect and value for their opinions and choices(well most of the time anyway). So how do we say no to people and gain respect while doing it?

Stephen Covey writes about this in his famous book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People“. He calls it the public victory and consists of 3 of the 7 habits (Think win-win, Seek first to understand and then to be understood, and Synergize). These hold the key to gaining respect by saying no.

In the six options I listed above, there are only two that can lead to win-win situations. Saying yes and doing yes, or saying no and doing no are authentic responses. But saying yes to unimportant stuff is a clearcut win-lose situation! When deciding what to do, take the mutual gain in mind. What is my win? What purpose does this serve for my goals? Am I depositing on the others Emotional Bank Account? Are they depositing or withdrawing on mine?

Saying yes to something because it leads to mutual gain is the only true win-win out there. If you say no to something that doesn’t lead to mutual gain, you effectively prevent something that ultimately ends up as a lose-lose situation from happening. In this light saying no is a proactive move, whereas mindlessly saying yes is reactive.

Saying no needs consideration and respect for the other, because if it’s not important to you, it doesn’t mean it’s not important altogether. Hear the other out as they are explaining why they want you to do something (seek first to understand). Repeat in your own words what you think they said, to confirm that you understood them (this will gratify them already). Tell them you understand why that’s important to them, and explain them why you are going to say no nevertheless. If people feel understood, you have created fertile ground to say no respectfully. And people will appreciate you for it too.

If you take it one step further, you can build upon what you just achieved. Explore the problem at hand for a moment to find another solution. Finding a new solution that serves both purposes is saying no too, but more creative. You say no to the lose and openly explore how to change it into a win. This will build your image of leadership even further.

Image by DownTown Pictures

Saying no to yourself

It comes from saying no to 1,000 things to make sure we don’t get on the wrong track or try to do too much. - Steve Jobs

But saying no is not exclusively to other people. A big part of saying no is to the one you need the most: YOU! It’s the hardest because the conflict I just described in saying no to others is now internally in you. It’s an internal conflict where a part of you wants to do something and another part in you doesn’t want to do it at all. How do you solve this?

First of all, it’s important to realize that both parts want something that’s good for you. They have a positive intention for you. It might not always be clear what that intention is, and it might need some introspection to uncover it. What positive result does this specific behavior bring you (peace of mind? energy? relaxation?). If you find both intentions, you can follow the same path as with others (more or less). Find a third alternative that will satisfy both needs (and it may even bring an added extra).

Covey talks about the private victory as well. The private victory are the first three habits (Be Proactive, Begin with the End in Mind, and First Things First). These habits are about putting you in control, knowing what you want and knowing your priorities. And if you look closely in the previous section, you’ll see that these are at the foundation of saying no to others.

There’s only one ‘hidden’ assumption in the previous section: you know when you want to say no. You achieve this by knowing what you want and knowing what’s important to you. If you don’t know what you want, or what’s important to you, how are you going to know when to say no? The success you have in the public victory depends a great deal from the success you have in the private victory.

There’s more to it then “Just say NO”

So in the end there’s more to it than just saying no. If you want to do it right, there are no tricks, no secrets, no hacks. For a genuine and lasting result you need to put in authentic effort and respect. Only then will you find Win-Win solutions, and who knows … maybe even more.

http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2008/02/how-to-say-no-and-have-people-respect-you-for-it.html#more-194

Thursday, February 7, 2008

The Transformative Power of Gratitude

Simple practices can reconnect us with the flow of life.
By Kim Ridley

My life was humming along last year when the universe delivered back-to-back wake-up calls. First, I lost my job when the magazine I edited went belly-up. A month later, my father landed in the intensive care unit. It felt as though life were peeling my layers, like a tree being stripped of bark.

Not knowing what else to do, I drove down to my parents' house. Their vulnerability terrified me. I visited my father at the hospital every day, trying to hold back tears as I stood awkwardly by his bed and stroked his thick white hair. At home, I cooked, answered the phone, and washed the dishes. One afternoon, I held my mother's hand as she wept. Its warmth and softness, its aliveness, astonished me. And that's when the most unexpected thought welled up from some fresh chink in my heart: I am so blessed to be here right now.

Suddenly, I felt lucky to have the time to be with my parents, to witness them, which I wouldn't have been able to do if I hadn't lost my job. Now, I had all the time there was.

I felt even more grateful for this gift of time when my father returned home. Grateful for the smallest things: poring over seed catalogues together, watching sitcoms with him, listening to his breathing while he slept in his recliner. Grateful for the cold wind on my face as I cross the supermarket parking lot on an errand for my parents. Grateful for my brother's love and care, for my mother's humanity, for the moon climbing the maple trees outside my old bedroom window.

Looking back, I never would have chosen the crises of my father's illness and losing work I loved. But my parents' vulnerability—and my own—frighten me less these days. Gratitude opened the gates of tenderness—right in the midst of fear and uncertainty.

Since then, I've started making a conscious effort to practice gratitude in some small way every day. When I do, I feel much more connected with the flow of life, instead of isolated and alone in my own struggles and fears.

Gratitude can be a powerfully transformative practice. Psychologists Robert Emmons of U.C. Davis and Michael McCullough of the University of Miami have found that practicing gratitude can actually improve our emotional and physical well-being. Their ongoing Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness has found that people who keep weekly gratitude journals had fewer physical symptoms, exercised more, had a better outlook on life and were more likely to reach their goals. People with neuromuscular disease who practiced daily gratitude "had more high-energy positive moods," felt more connected to others, and felt more positive about life in comparison to a control group.

"Practicing gratitude helps people extract the most out of life," Emmons says. "People can also experience an overall shift to a more benevolent view of the world. I think it's kind of a spiritual shift for some people because it makes them more aware of life as a gift."

To help strengthen my own "gratitude muscle," I asked Emmons and several inspiring practitioners to share their suggestions. Here are daily practices anyone can try.

1. See the giver behind the gift. "We ask people to focus every day on a particular person who provided them with a benefit," Emmons says. That's really what gratitude is. It's not just something you're happy about." It could be anyone from the spouse who made you a perfect cup of coffee this morning to the person who bagged your groceries.

2. Ask yourself three questions every day. A powerful way to cultivate gratitude is to focus on what is really happening in our lives, rather than falling into the traps of complaining and drama, says Gregg Krech, author of "Naikan: Gratitude, Grace, and the Japanese Art of Self Reflection," and co-founder of the ToDo Institute in Monkton, Vermont. The basic practice of Naikan, which translates to "inside-looking," consists of asking oneself three questions every day: "What have I received today? What have I given? What trouble have I caused?" While Naikan doesn't deny the difficult parts of our lives, it puts things into perspective, says Krech, who asks himself these three questions every evening.

"When I list everything I received and then everything I gave each day, what I have in the giving column is always so much shorter than what's in the receiving column," he says. "As we become aware that we've received so much more than we've given, not only does that cultivate gratitude, it also cultivates often a sense of wanting to give something back to the world."

3. Practice even when you don't feel like it. "One of the mistakes people often make in our culture is thinking you have to feel grateful to practice gratitude," says psychologist Miriam Greenspan, author of Healing Through the Dark Emotions: The Wisdom of Grief, Fear, and Despair. "You can practice anytime—when you feel sorrow, great anxiety over a parent's imminent death, if you have a disabled child. Whatever one can muster at these points as a prayer of gratitude—okay, I'm still breathing, or I have friends who care about me—tips the experience from being immersed unmindfully in one's suffering to moving into the present moment with a more holistic perspective. We see that there is suffering, but there is also this gratitude, and we can hold them together."

4. Make thank-you your mantra. Every moment offers an opportunity for thanks, says Nancy Hathaway, senior dharma teacher at the Kwan Um Zen School and a family mindfulness consultant in Blue Hill, Maine. She uses "thank-you" as a mantra to return to the present moment. "On the first day of spring, I was raking the gravel off the grass. It was hard, and I was starting to complain to myself," Hathaway says. "When I caught myself thinking, I switched over to 'thank you.' I remembered I really wanted to rake, and I wanted springtime. Gratitude practice for me is about letting go of thinking and welcoming in the present moment."

5. Create a simple family ritual. "In our family, every evening when we have dinner, we say our thank you's," says Greenspan. "It's not a formal prayer of any kind, but just what we're grateful for in the moment, and that's all. It brings us back, it's a touchstone to the miracles of life that we may have been overlooking."

6. Bow to life. "I do three bows in the morning," Hathaway says. "The first bow is to my self as part of the universe. The second bow is to my family, children, and friends to acknowledge and appreciate them. The third is bowing to the universal life force and what is. Doing this helps me let go of controlling, and instead open to the flow of life."

http://www.beliefnet.com/dailyinspiration/1061305.htm

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Have An Average Day - Enjoying the Ordinary is Extraordinary

By Michael Neill

Source: Catalyst Magazine

I once was talking to my friend and mentor Steve Chandler when he said to me, "Have an average day!" Taken aback, I asked him what he meant. Isn't the idea to have great days, even exceptional ones?

He told me a story about one of his mentors, Lyndon Duke, who studied the linguistics of suicide. After receiving doctorates from two universities, Duke began analyzing suicide notes for linguistic clues that could be used to predict and prevent suicidal behavior in teenagers.

Duke came to believe that the enemy of happiness is "the curse of exceptionality." When everyone is trying to be exceptional, nearly everyone fails because the exceptional becomes commonplace, and those few who do succeed feel isolated and estranged from their peers. We're left with a world in which a few people feel envied, misunderstood, and alone, while thousands of others feel like failures for not being good, special, rich, or happy enough.

When I was in the thickest cloud of my own suicidal thoughts, I was at university and I remember wishing that I could run away from my scholarship, change my name to Bob, and take a job pumping gas at a full-service station somewhere in the Midwest.

Only in my fantasy, people would start to notice something special about me. They would begin driving miles out of their way to have "Bob the service guy" fill up their cars and to exchange a few words with him, leaving the station oddly uplifted and with a renewed sense of optimism and purpose.

I was, to my way of thinking, doomed to succeed.

Delusions of grandeur? Quite possibly. Depressed and miserable? Absolutely.

One of Duke's breakthroughs came when he was dealing with his own unhappiness and heard a neighbor singing while he was mowing his lawn. Duke realized what was missing from his life: the simple pleasures of an average day.

The very next weekend, he went to visit his son, who was struggling to excel in his first term at university. "I expect you to be a straight C student, young man," Duke said. "I want you to complete your unremarkable academic career, meet an ordinary young woman, and, if you choose to, get married and live a completely average life!"

His son, of course, thought Dad had finally flipped, but it did take the pressure off him to be quite so exceptional. A month later he phoned his father to apologize. He had gotten A's on his exams, despite having done only an average amount of studying.

This is the paradoxical promise of an average-day philosophy: The cumulative effect of a series of average days is actually quite extraordinary.

If we put this together with another one of Duke's discoveries - that the meaning of our lives comes from the differences we make with them, though these differences need not be huge to have a profound impact - we may well have the ultimate prescription for a happy, productive life:

Be an average, happy person making a small positive difference (and having a happy, average day). In doing this, you create a kind of exceptionality that everyone can share.